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meladoodle:

BREAKING NEWS: more shark attacks during shark week because they all think we’re saying ‘shark weak’ and it upsets them

bravedad:

i wonder how many people i’m in the “i’d be down if you asked” zone with

swdyw:

Don’t invite me to your wedding i will look better than you and it will be embarrassing for us both

shutupvevo:

on the one hand it’s a joke but on the other hand where is the lie

unjolras:

my body isnt a temple my body is a castle with a moat and crocodiles and a dragon who will set you on fire if you touch me

jackofficers:

liquor before beer youre in the clear

beer before liquor youll be okay dont be a little bitch

instagrarn:

when you flawlessly rap that verse

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tvsker:

Personal. Following back all x

tvsker:

Personal. Following back all x